Sweet & Sour Surf & Turf

I love Asian food, but I love AUTHENTIC Asian food. It's something that's not always easy to find in my lovely little town of Yakima, but there are a few places that have outstanding food. If you live in Yakima, and you haven't been to KiKi's or China Town Cafe, you are really missing out. Please go there, because these small restaurants don't always do to well in our town, and we need these restaurants to survive!!

Aside from that, Sweet & Sour Chicken, a staple in most Asian establishments, is something that I've never enjoyed. It seems like it's always heavy on the sweet, and the sour is almost non-existent. The other day I was in
Tri-Cities, and I stopped by a restaurant called Anthony's that my friend Mark has recommended several times. There are several locations in Washington State, and one of the few restaurants that still has Lingcod. Lingcod is a whole different post altogether, but a fantastic cod with very little respect. So I stopped in at Anthony's and sat at the chef's table. I ordered the lingcod fish and chips, and it was great. But the highlight of my experience took place when one of the chef's walked over and asked if I liked prawns. Of course I like prawns!! He proceeded to place a single prawn, in a rich red sauce on small plate, and handed it to me saying, "this is our new sweet and sour prawn, that we'll be adding to the menu soon."

At first looks, I was not impressed, because again - I do not like sweet and sour. But I thought, well, it's a prawn, so it's bound to be good based on that truth alone, and that was SUPER cool of the chef to offer me something not on the menu yet. I cannot tell you how wrong I was. It was everything that I've always wished sweet and sour would be. Sweet and - wait for it - SOUR. The balance was there unlike any dish of it's kind I've tasted. I called the chef over and was quick to let him know that it was a win as far as I was concerned, based on the balance of the sauce, the wonderful, wonderful sauce. Needless to say, I'm anxious to go back and order the new menu item.

In the meantime, there were some very specific tastes that stood out in the dish. It made me realize that while I've never cared for sweet & sour, I've never tried to make it myself. This dish was my inspiration to do so. And it came out incredibly close to what I tasted at Anthony's, along with my own interpretation. I present to you, Sweet & Sour Surf & Turf, with Asian Slaw and Jasmine Rice.

First, we'll create some crispy won tons for the cabbage slaw. You can buy won ton wrappers and fry them up, or you can make your own. I decided to make my own, for a couple reasons. One, I didn't have any wonton wrappers. Two, I thought it would be fun to make my own!

Take an egg and beat it in a small bowl. To that, add 1/3 cup of water, and mix. In another bowl, add 2 Cups of flour and 1 teaspoon of salt. Create a well in the middle and add your egg/water mix. Bring it together by stirring and incorporating slowly. Once you've got a dough beginning to form you'll be able to tell whether or not you need more water. Just add a tiny bit at a time, until you start forming a nice, elastic ball of dough. Once it's got a nice form, cover it and let it hang out for about 10 minutes.

After your ten minutes is up, take the ball of dough and cut it in half. Freeze one half so you can make some potstickers on another day. That'll be another blog at some point...

Take the half you have left, and cut it into 4 parts, and roll each into a ball. I have a pasta maker, so I used that to roll out my dough and it worked beautifully. Once you've got it rolled out nice and thin, make sure it's floured well so it doesn't stick, and then cut it into strips. Place to the side until ready to fry. When it's time, you'll cook them for 2 minutes each side, till they're nice and brown. Drain on paper towels, and keep in a warm oven until ready to use. You can keep your leftovers for something else - snacks, chow mein, etc.

Then you'll need your main proteins. About a half pound of colossal prawns, tail on, cleaned and deveined, and 2 chicken breasts, fat removed and pounded out thin. You may need to cut them in half for the sake of frying.

The coating that I used is one that I've used in the past on fried tofu. It's light, but crispy. I really appreciate the batter because you don't end up with more breading than meat. That's something that really frustrates me, and something I try to avoid. If you like a thicker breading, go for it, but I'll give you my recipe here.

It basically calls for a 1/2 cup of rice flour, a 1/2 cup of corn starch, 1/4 cup of toasted sesame seeds, and 1 tsp. of salt. That's it. Combine that, and then then coat your proteins. Allow them to sit for at least 30 minutes. This causes the coating to really adhere to the meat, and not fall off when you fry them.

For the slaw, grab a bag of shredded cabbage at the store, or shred your own, up to you. Place it in a big bowl, and then get your dressing ready. Here's what you'll combine in a small bowl: 6 Tbl. Sugar, 1/2 Cup Rice Wine Vinegar, 1 Tsp. Sriracha (or to taste), 1/3 Cup Sesame Oil, and 1/4 cup thinly sliced pickled ginger.

Pickled ginger???? Yes, pickled ginger. The stuff they always put on the side of your sushi. Trust me, it sounds crazy, but you're gonna love it. Unless you don't, but that's not my problem.

Don't have any pickled ginger? Don't worry, neither did I, so I made my own. How you ask? I'm about to tell you. And if you don't want to make your own, I'm sure you can find it in the Asian food section of your store. Okay, I'm not really sure that you can, but hey, go look!

1 to 3 days before you make this meal, you can get the ginger pickling. Grab a nice 1/2 pound piece of ginger, peel it, and thin slice it up real thin. If you have a mandolin, that's the way to go, but I don't, so I just sliced it myself. I realized that I need a mandolin.

Boil some water on the stove, about 3 cups. Add your ginger and boil for one minute. Strain it real good, and then put it in a mason jar. In the pot you just drained the water from, add 6 Tbl. Sugar, 1 1/2 Tbl. Kosher Salt, and 1/2 Cup + 1 Tbl. Rice Wine Vinegar. Bring to a boil, and make sure to stir to dissolve the sugar. When sugar is dissolved, pour over the ginger in the mason jar. Allow to cool, and then place in the fridge until ready to use. Make sure you give it at least a day. I used mine the day after I made it, and it was great.

Okay, you've got your pickled ginger and all your ingredients for the slaw dressing now. Mix it real good, and then combine with the cabbage. Cover it, and then place in the fridge until ready to use.

Then comes the Jasmine Rice. Step One: Make Jasmine rice. Step Two: Keep warm til ready to eat.

Now it's time to get your sweet and sour sauce ready, the star of the meal. Here's what I combined all together, but feel free to adjust to your taste: 1/2 Cup Sweet Chili Sauce, 1/2 Cup Rice Wine Vinegar, 1/2 Tsp. Sriracha (or more to taste), and 1 1/2 Tbl. Soy Sauce. I mixed it all together and let it sit until I was ready to serve.

Okay, it's been at least 30 minutes, so you're probably ready to cook your food. Grab some canola and fill a large skillet 2-3 inches deep with canola oil. To that, add a couple tablespoons of sesame oil. I usually heat my stove top a couple notches below medium high. That way it gets hot enough, but not so hot that it burns the coating, and doesn't cook the meat.

Once the oil is hot, fry your won ton strips. Again, drain them on a paper towel and keep them warm until ready to use.

Then add your chicken. Fry for two minutes on each side, and then additional 1 minute on each side. Check for doneness, but this should be pretty close depending on how thin you pounded those suckers out. When done, drain on paper towels, and keep warm until ready to serve. Before serving, make sure to slice the chicken into strips.

Then add your prawns. I cooked them for 1 1/2 Minutes per side, but make sure to check for doneness as everyone's oven is different. Again, drain them on towels until ready to serve.

Oh look, we're ready to serve! To plate, place a nice mound of rice in the center of your plate. Surround the rice with the prawns and chicken, which you have now cut into strips. Then, very nicely and humbly, add your sweet and sour sauce. If you like your chicken and prawn drenched, go for it - but I like moderation when it comes to this sauce. The flavor is super rich, and so a nice drizzle is perfect for me. But again, you're not me. So use your own discretion.

In a ramekin or smaller bowl, add your coleslaw and top with the won tons you fried up earlier. From there, it's up to you whether or not you want to share! If you do, this recipe should take care of 2-3 people.

That's it - Your Sweet & Sour Surf & Turf. I hope you enjoy, and if you're like me and have never been a fan of Sweet & Sour, I hope this changes your mind!

Because Eating Good Is A Calling Of It's Own, 
The Fat Pastor

SWEET & SOUR SURF & TURF WITH ASIAN SLAW
Pickled Ginger:
Ingredients: 
1/2 Pound Ginger, peeled and thinly sliced
3 Cups Water
6 Tbl. Sugar
1 1/2 Tbl. Salt
1/2 Cup + 1 Tbl. Rice Wine Vinegar

Directions:
Boil the ginger in 3 Cups of water for 1 minute. Strain, and place in a mason jar. Bring to a boil the rest of the ingredients, and when the sugar is dissolved, pour over the ginger in the mason jar. Allow to cool, and then keep in the refrigerator, 1-3 days until ready to use

Asian Slaw
Ingredients:
1 Package Shredded Cabbage
6 Tbl. Sugar
1/2 Cup Rice Wine Vinegar
1 Tsp. Sriracha
1/3 Cup Sesame Oil
1/4 Cup Thinly Sliced Ginger

Directions:
Place cabbage in a large bowl. In another bowl, combine the rest of the ingredients. Pour over cabbage, and combine well. Cover, and refrigerate until ready to serve. When serving, top with crispy won tons.

Crispy WonTons
Ingredients:
1 Egg
1/3 Cup Water +/- 1 tsp.
2 Cups Flour
1 Tsp. Salt

Directions:
Beat the egg in a small bowl. Add water and mix. In another larger bowl, combine flour and salt. Make a well in the middle and add the egg and water mixture. Stir slowly to incorporate until a dough begins to form. If necessary, add a small amount of water and knead until the dough is firm and elastic. Set aside, covered for 10 minutes. When ready, cut the dough in half, and freeze half for another use. With the half that is left, cut it into 4 equal parts, and shape into balls. Roll into very thin sheets, and then cut into strips. When ready to fry, place them in the hot oil and fry for 2 minutes per side. Drain on paper towels until ready to use.

Sweet & Sour Surf & Turf
Ingredients:
2 Chicken Breast Filet, pounded thin
1/2 Pound Colossal Prawns, tail on, cleaned & deveined
1/2 Cup Rice Flour
1/2 Cup Corn Starch
1 Tsp. Salt
1/4 Cup Sesame Seeds
Canola Oil, for frying
2 Tbl. Sesame Oil, for frying
1/2 Cup Sweet Chili Sauce
1/2 Cup Rice Wine Vinegar
1/2 Tsp. Sriracha
1 1/2 Tbl. Soy Sauce

Directions:
Combine the rice flour, corn starch, salt and sesame seeds. Coat the prawns and chicken in the mixture. Allow to sit for at least 30 minutes. Make the sauce by combining the chili sauce, rice wine vinegar, sriracha and soy sauce. Keep to the side until ready to serve.
Heat 2-3 inches of canola oil on a little less than medium high. Add Sesame oil. When oil is hot, add the chicken breast, and cook for 2 minutes on each side, and then 1 minute on each side. Check for doneness. When cooked through, drain on paper towels and keep warm. Add the prawns to the oil, and cook for 1 1/2 minutes per side. Check of doneness, and when fully cooked drain on paper towels, and keep warm until ready to use. Serve over a bed of jasmine rice, with the sweet and sour sauce drizzled over.

Adventures In Salmon

I live in the Pacific Northwest, and there has been a truth about me that I've always been embarrassed to admit: I don't like salmon.

Well, at least I didn't. Recently, my opinions have changed, and I'm beginning to find myself, regularly, thinking: "man... I could go for some salmon."

The real crazy truth? I actually got my beautiful bride to enjoy it as well. Each time I tell Tenielle that I'm about to make salmon, and ask her if she'd like something else, her response is the same - "Salmon for me too!!"

When I lived in Hawaii, there was a dish that I grew to love called "lomi lomi salmon." It's basically raw salmon diced super super small and combined with onions and tomatoes and spices. Most true Hawaiians eat it with poi. That's where I drew the line. Lomi lomi salmon began my training in the pursuit of salmon love, even though it took years before I really set out to figure out a way to enjoy it. The other style of salmon that I really enjoyed was smoked salmon. There is something about walking down the corridors of Pike's Place market, and smelling that wonderful smoked salmon smell, that you can't help but love! But that's as far as it went.

I began to realize a couple months ago that because I enjoyed RAW salmon, maybe, just maybe I had only eaten it in restaurants, etc., when it was overcooked. I talked to a few salmon loving friends, and they assured me that I was probably correct.

I then began looking for ideas to give this a shot, and make it on my own, and try to make something that I could enjoy. For two reasons: 1, because I live in the Pacific Northwest. 2, because of the health benefits. Everyone knows that salmon is SUPER good for you, so why not learn to love it.

Without further ado, I present to you the first salmon recipe that I ever enjoyed - Pan Seared Salmon with a lemon dijon beurre blanc. If you want the full meal deal, you can also serve up some fresh green beans mixed with baby reds.

I'm gonna be real honest before we get started here. The health benefits that come with this fish are great, but all the butter you're about to use might just negate those benefits... just sayin...

PAN SEARED SALMON WITH LEMON DIJON BEURRE BLANC AND SAUTEED GREEN BEANS WITH BABY REDS

Salmon:
Ingredients:
2 Sockeye or Atlantic Salmon Filets, Skin On
Salt & Pepper
Canola Oil
1 Cup Dry White Wine
Juice Of 1 Lemon
1 Shallot, Diced
1 Tbl. Heavy Cream
2 Tbl. Dijon Mustard
12 Tbl. Butter, Cut Into Chunks, kept cold until ready to use

Green Beans and Baby Reds
Ingredients:
1 Lb. Fresh Green Beans
2-3 Lbs. Baby Red Potatoes, cut into 2" chunks
2 Cloves Garlic, Chopped
2 Tbl. Olive Oil
2 Tbl. Butter
Salt & Pepper to Taste.

Directions:
Heat the oven to it's lowest setting. Bring two large pots of salted water to boil. Cook the green beans for 5 minutes, and then drain. Cook the potatoes for 10 minutes and drain. In a large sauté pan, melt the butter with the 2 Tbl. Olive Oil. Add the garlic and sauté for about 30 seconds. Add the potatoes and green beans, and mix well to coat with oil and butter. Add salt and pepper to taste. Place in an oven save serving bowl, and keep warm in the oven until ready to serve.

To a smaller sauté pan, add the white wine, lemon juice and shallots. Bring to a boil, and then reduce heat. Simmer until the liquid is reduced to 2 tablespoons. Add heavy cream and dijon mustard, and stir well. With heat set at low, begin to add the butter, one cube at a time, and whisk until melted. Continue until you've used all the butter. Keep the sauce warm while you cook the salmon.

Salt and pepper the salmon, and then add a splash of canola oil to a pan. Heat on Medium high, and when ready add your salmon skin side down. Cook for 4 minutes. Flip the salmon, and then continue to cook for 3 more minutes.

After the salmon has cooked, begin plating by adding some of the green bean/baby red mixture to a plate. Place one of the filet's on top, and then add the beurre blanc to the top of the fish. Serve immediately and enjoy!!

Because Eating Good Is A Calling Of It's Own, 
The Fat Pastor

Beef Carpaccio with Lemon Thyme, Crispy Oyster Mushrooms & Pickled Green Beans

I love me some Italy. If God ever asks me to become a missionary in Italy, I will not be fasting and praying, I will be praying real fast. I've been there once, and I've never been able to stop thinking about it since. I've never been anywhere else in Europe (except for a dreadful plane change in Amsterdam) and it's hard to want to go anywhere else. Don't get me wrong, Tenielle and I dream of traveling the world, but Italy has truly stolen our hearts. 

That being said, Carpaccio is something that we did not experience while we were there. It is something that I've seen done many times, but never had. Until recently. Granted, it's hard to know if you're successful when you've never tried something from a professional kitchen, but I had to experiment. I've never had great salmon in a restaurant, but I've grown to love it from my own. That's another post altogether. 

All of that said, allow me to bring you my latest kitchen adventure with Beef Carpaccio. It turned out fantastic, and I'm excited to try it again sometime. 

You're going to need a nice cut of beef tenderloin. The size is up to you, and really depends on how many people you'll be serving. My wife wasn't interesting in eating (mostly) raw beef, so I was a loner on this one. One small cut was perfect. 

Also grab some fresh green beans. It's summer and I love going down to our local Farmer's Market, and grabbing some of the veggies that have been delivered straight from the farms in the Lower Valley into downtown Yakima for this weekly event. Green Beans are some of my favorite summer veggies, and especially when it comes to a nice cut of beef. They just work. Most of the time I simply sauté them in some butter and garlic, but this time I decided to try something a little bit different. I had seen a recipe for pickled green beans, and decided it seemed like a good plan. My buddy Mark cans some incredible pickled green beans each summer, so a quick pickle seemed good. 

The other addition that comes from our awesome Farmer's Market, are the oyster mushrooms. Carpaccio, because the meat is mainly raw, just has something old world to it. It's reminiscent of prosciutto, just a bit more thick. Oyster mushrooms add an earthiness to it, that mix with the rustic flavor of the beef in amazing way. The acidity that you will add with the green beans will tie it all together like when you were a kid and someone gave you a remote control car and DIDN'T forget the batteries. You need the batteries! 

Okay, let's start putting it all together. We're gonna start with the green beans so that they can spend as much time soaking up the flavor as possible. I used about one pound for this recipe. 

First of all, put some water on to boil with some salt. While that comes to a boil, you can start cutting the ends off the green beans. Cut them to the size you like, I prefer to keep them whole (minus the ends of course). 

While the water is still boiling, you can cut up your herbs. I used about 1/4 cup of soft celery leaves (from the inside of the bunch) and 1/4 cup of Italian parsley. Chop the herbs pretty fine, place to the side. 

Once you've got the water boiling and green beans cut to size, throw them in the water for about 7 minutes. Then drain them well, but don't cool them down with hot water. The heat from the beans is going to draw in the vinaigrette we're about to make.  

Speaking of vinaigrette. You're going to use 1 diced shallot, 1 diced clove of garlic, 3 tablespoons of fresh lemon juice, 2 teaspoons of dijon mustard, 4 tablespoons olive oil, and salt and pepper to taste. Mix it all up!

Here's a quick word about shallots. I'm amazed at how many of my friends have not tried, or at least do not remember trying shallots. They are incredible! Especially in a vinaigrette like this one. I love shallots with white wine, dijon, lemon juice... So good! And the shallots themselves, are best described as what would happen if a red onion fell in love with a clove of garlic, got married, and had a baby. The child would be an honor student in every class, graduate early, and go on to be a doctor. That kind of perfection doesn't come along every day. 

Okay, that's enough of my rant about shallots. Go buy some.  

Place your beans in a serving bowl, and mix well with the herbs. Then pour your vinaigrette over the top and combine very well. Throw it in the fridge, and let it do it's thing! 

Alright, time to get started on the beef. Gird up your tenderloin and let's do this. 

First of all, you can do this with fresh, basic thyme, but if you have access to lemon thyme, DO THAT. I grow it in my herb garden, and I've been tempted to overuse it and put it in everything. I used it on this recipe, but my other favorite uses have been in wild rice, and in fresh pasta dough. I love fresh herbs, but there is something about the fragrance of this one that is just killer. Who knew you could get such a pungent blast of lemon from such a tiny leaf. 

Chop up a good tablespoon or so of the thyme. It's a pain to work with, but it will be worth it. Once you've got that chopped up and ready to go, salt and pepper the tenderloin, and then coat it well with the thyme. Really get it on there, cause you don't want it falling off before you sear it. 

Speaking of searing, get your pan ready with a splash of canola oil. I used my cast iron skillet, cause... well, I like it. And cast iron sears quite nicely. Because it gets so dang hot so fast, I only set the heat to medium high (maybe a little less). 

Here's the deal, when you're ready, you're gonna sear that thing FAST. We're talking one minute, and NO MORE. That means you're gonna do a lot of flipping in 60 seconds. So when the oil is hot, lay that beef on the pan, and flip it every 15 seconds or so. Devote the majority of the time to the flat surface of the tenderloin, but don't miss the sides. You want a quick sear everywhere. And then you're done. Let it rest for a few minutes to seal in those juices, and then we're gonna slice it up. 

While the beef is resting, you can thickly slice your oyster mushrooms, and get ready to crisp-ify them. You can turn the heat down to a little past medium, and if you've still got a nice coat of oil in the pan, just use that. Throw in your mushrooms, toss them around to coat them in the oil, and sprinkle a little salt and pepper over them. The salt is going to draw out the moisture, and help you get them crispy. From there, just toss them around for a few minutes until you start to see them sweat down. Once they are at the point of where they look edible, turn off the heat and leave them alone until you're ready to eat them. This is going to get the bottoms nice and crispy and crunchy. 

Okay, time to slice the beef. Put it on your cutting board, and slice it as thin as you can. This doesn't have to be perfect, because there is one more step. Once it is all sliced up, take your chef knife and lay the flat blade against one of the slices. Put some pressure on it, and slide it across the surface of the slice of beef, flattening it out. You'll get the hang of it quickly, as this is NOT hard to do. You can see what it looks like in the picture. 

Once you've got all your slices flattened out, nice and thin, it's time to put this thing together. Place the beef on a plate, slightly overlapping the slices to create a platform for the rest of the components. Then sprinkle the beef with some fresh Asiago or Parmesan or Pecorino. I used Asiago and it was great! Not too much though, because you don't want any one flavor to overpower the others, and when you start adding smelly cheese, that's always a possibility. 

Then take your pickled green beans, and lay some of those on next. On top of the green beans, add your crispy oyster mushrooms. From there, find a quiet spot where you can enjoy your creation without interruption. Also, preferably a place where you can make the somewhat obnoxious groans of satisfaction without fear of embarrassment. Think "What About Bob." 

And that's it. You've got Beef Carpaccio. I'd love to know what you think! 

Because Eating Good Is A Calling Of It's Own, 

The Fat Pastor

BEEF CARPACCIO WITH LEMON THYME, CRISPY OYSTER MUSHROOMS & PICKLED GREEN BEANS

Ingredients:

For The Carpaccio:

1 Beef Tenderloin Filet

2 Tbl. Chopped fresh Lemon Thyme

Salt & Pepper To Taste

Splash of Canola Oil

Asiago Cheese To Taste

3-4 oz. Fresh Oyster Mushrooms

For The Pickled Green Beans:

1 Lb. Fresh Green Beans, ends chopped

1/4 cup Celery Leaves, chopped

1/4 cup Italian Parsley, chopped

1 Shallot, diced

1 Garlic Clove, diced

3 Tbl. Fresh Squeezed Lemon Juice

2 Tsp. Dijon Mustard

4 Tbl. Olive Oil

Salt & Pepper To Taste

Directions:

Boil some water on the stove with some salt. Boil the green beans for about 5 minutes, until tender but still crisp. Drain and set to the side. 

Combine the rest of the ingredients, mix well, and pour over the green beans. Stir together, and check for seasoning. Place in the fridge until ready to serve. 

Season the beef filet with salt and pepper, and then rub the lemon thyme into the beef, making sure it sticks well. Heat a pan over medium high with a splash of canola oil. When hot, sear the beef on all sides, for 1 minute TOTAL. Remove heat, and allow to rest. Reduce heat to medium. 

Thickly slice the mushrooms, and add to the pan. Stir to coat with oil, and season lightly with salt and pepper. Toss for a few minutes, until they have sweated down, and then turn off the heat. Leave alone until ready to use. 

Slice your beef very thinly. Then take your chef knife, lay the flat edge against each slice, and press down and across, flattening the slice. 

Compile the dish by arranging the slices of beef on the plate, adding some shredded Asiago, then the pickled green beans, and the crispy oyster mushrooms. Serve and enjoy! 

Back To Hawaii!

My wife and I are on the verge of celebrating 10 years of marriage. It's been amazing, and absolutely full - of both the good, the bad and the ugly. But every day of every week of every month of every year has made us fall more in love. 

In honor of our 10 year anniversary, we'll be traveling back to where our marriage really began. The Big Island of Hawaii. I surprised Tenielle recently by making an awesome, but basic, Hawaiian meal. We do this several times a year, but this time it came with the surprise announcement that Hawaii is where we'd be spending our anniversary. She has been dreaming of a getaway before the Velociraptor arrives in January, and so this was a fun night. 

And of course, the food was great. 

Making some ono kine grinds ("really tasty food" for you hau'ole's) that will take you to the islands in the comfort of your dining room is really not that difficult. This meal, and the one I'm about to show you how to make is made up of the following:

- Sticky Rice (got a rice cooker? If not, go buy one...) 

- Potato Mac Salad

- Kalbi Ribs

- Kahlua Pig & Cabbage

Put it all together and you got a broke da mout' meal. (English? So good it'll break your mouth)

Here goes:

Step One: Get your pork ready. You'll want a 3-4lb bone-in pork butt. The booty. The rear. The derriere. The junk in the trunk. You get the picture. It's the best part of the pork when it comes to making something you can shred later. Full of flavor. It also should come with a nice fat cap. That's gonna melt while you slow cook it and impart all that ridiculous porky fatty goodness. Don't miss the bone either. You really REALLY wanna find a cut that still has the bone, so don't skimp.

Get your heat source ready. If you have a smoker, set it to 225. For the wood, you'll use mainly cherry, with a small amount of hickory mixed in. You don't want a lot of hickory, cause the flavor is super strong. Bacon and hickory go very well together, but for Kahlua pig, you want the lighter cherry wood.

If you don't have a smoker, you're gonna have to forego the smoke, unless you want to add a little bit of liquid smoke to the pork. You could use the grill, but for the amount of time you need to cook this thing, you really don't want to have to worry about it. The next best step is either your slow cooker or oven.

If you're using the slow cooker, you're gonna set it to low and cook the pork for about 17 hours. If you're using the oven, preheat it to 350.

Take the pork and sprinkle it all over with a good amount of sea salt. Hawaiian salt if you can find it, but sea salt is just fine too. If you're not using a smoker, this is where you can add your liquid smoke. (no more than a 1/2 tablespoon.)

Then get your banana leaves. If you live in Yakima, you can find them at Fiesta Foods. If you don't live in Yakima, check out your International Food store. Wrap the pork roast in the banana leaves, and don't skimp. I used 4 leaves, wrapping two around the length of the pork, and tying it off, then wrapping two around the width of the pork and tying it off.

If you just can't get banana leaves, then cover the pork with spinach, and then wrap the pork in cabbage leaves. A lot. It will protect the pork, and impart a little extra flavor from the spinach. Tie it up with some kitchen twine. If you are cooking it in the oven, wrap it in foil. For the smoker, you will cook the pork for a total of 8-9 hours. Add wood chips once every hour, for the first 3 hours. After that, just let it cook so that the smoke doesn't overwhelm the rest of the flavor. Make sure to place some sort of pan under the pork to collect the juices that drain out. You'll use those later. Again, 17 hours in the slow cooker, and then about 5 hours in the oven if you're going that route. Plan accordingly, 17 hours will give you a beautiful end result, but it's not very schedule friendly.

When the pork is done, and you're finalizing the entire meal, you'll shred the pork with a couple of forks (won't be a struggle there!) and then you'll shred a small head of cabbage. In a large pan, add the shredded pork, the cabbage, the juices (remember from earlier?) and 2 cups of chicken stock. Turn up the head to medium high and bring to boil. Reduce to medium, and cover. Let it do it's thing for a few minutes, and check it to see that the cabbage is wilting. You don't want it to steam too much, soggy cabbage is not what we're going for here! When this process is done, hopefully you've got everything else ready to go as well. Oh... which means we probably better go back in time.

Kalbi Ribs! Proof that God loves me, and proof that He loves you too. Never had them? Well, you'll soon be in full agreement.

The day before you plan on cooking this meal is the ideal time to begin marinating the ribs. I've done a 2 day marinade, an overnight marinade, and a 2 hour marinade. I will never be doing the 2 hour marinade again, because it's a complete dishonoring of the beautiful cow that gave it's life so that I could feast on it's (short) ribs. Do you know what you're looking for in the ribs? Here - get this - and get lots, trust me, they won't last long:

Okay, I have to be honest. I always just throw the following ingredients together, but I'm gonna do my best to give you some measurements. The truth is that you really can't go wrong as long as you keep the following in the mind: Lots of fresh garlic, lots of soy sauce (preferably "Aloha" brand shoyu), and lots of brown sugar. It all depends on how many ribs you're doing, but for a family of 4, I'd plan on using about 5-6 cups of soy sauce, 1/2 lb. of brown sugar (at least) and about 8 cloves of garlic, chopped. 

And then to that, add a little sesame oil (1 Tbl) red wine (1/4 cup) ginger powder (1 Tbl) and green onion (to your liking, optional). Mix all of those things together, and then check it. You want it to be pretty sweet. The sugars are going to caramelize on the outside of the ribs when you grill them, and those caramel-y bits will make you want to jump in the car, leave your family, and find a dark alley to consume every last rib by yourself. I struggle with this temptation each and every time. 

Pour the marinade over the ribs when you think you've got it right. Mix it around so that you get the sauce touching every surface, cover it up, and let it sit in the fridge overnight.

When it's time to cook the ribs, turn your grill on to it's highest heat and allow it to warm up. When it's ready, YOU need to be ready because these suckers cook FAST! Throw the ribs on the grill, close the lid, and wait two minutes. When you open the lid, the smell and the beauty of those ribs are going to slap you in the face. You won't even be mad. Flip those ribs, and then cook for 1 minute more. That's it. You're done.

Alright, are you ready for the last component? The potato mac salad? I've never seen this done outside of Hawaii. My first response was "who the heck mixes macaroni and potatoes?" I'll tell you who. Smart, brilliant, lovely, delightful Hawaiians. That's who. And it's crazy simple.

Make this the morning before you plan on serving the meal. It'll sit in the fridge and build flavor.

Take your potatoes, 5 medium or 3 fatties, peel em, and then cut them up into about 2 inch pieces. Boil them in salted water for about 10 minutes, and then drain. Put on the side and let cool. In another pot, boil a pound of elbow noodles according to the packages directions in salt water (should be about 9 minutes). Drain, and then rinse with cold water.

In a big bowl, combine the potatoes and the macaroni. To that, add about a cup of mayonnaise (REAL mayonnaise, don't go for the nasty sweet stuff). Add to that about 2 Tablespoons of grated onion, 2 teaspoons of garlic powder, and salt & pepper to taste. That's it. Throw it in the fridge, and pull it out right before serving.

Finally, get out your rice cooker for the sticky rice. Don't have a rice cooker? Go buy one. Make rice. Don't know how to make rice? Stop reading. Go to the store, buy some canned soup, and forget everything you've just read.

I'm just kidding. Sort of. If you don't know how to cook rice and you don't have a rice cooker, here's a good plan. Wash the rice, a few times, and then add it to the pot you plan to cook it in. Then place your hand on top of the rice, and add water until it reaches the knuckle on your middle finger. I don't know why this works but it does. Add some salt, and bring the water to boil. When the water starts boiling, reduce to medium low, and then cover. For two cups of, you'll let it do it's thing for about 10 minutes. When the rice is absorbed, remove from heat, cover and let sit for 10 minutes before serving.

Okay - now put it all together. Serve the Kahlua Pig and Cabbage over the sticky rice, alongside the Kalbi Ribs and the Potato Mac Salad. I served mine with some Shirley Temples. I make mine with lemon-lime soda, a little bit of margarita mix, and a dash of Grenadine. Throw some Braddah Iz in the stereo, and you'll be eating local style in no time - no matter where you are! And remember, this is Hawaiian food - you don't eat til you're full, you eat til you're tired. So make sure your couch is clear, you won't want to move for awhile after this meal. And that's not a bad thing at all!


Because Eating Good Is A Calling Of It's Own, 
The Fat Pastor

KAHLUA PIG & CABBAGE
Ingredients: 
3-4 Lb. Bone-In Pork Butt
4 Banana Leaves
Sea Salt
Cherry & Hickory wood for the smoker (if using)
2 Tsp. Liquid Smoke if you're not using the smoker
1 Small head of cabbage
4 cups Chicken Stock

Directions: 
Preheat the smoker to 225, or the oven to 350. Sprinkle sea salt on the pork, and then wrap in the banana leaves, and tie off with your kitchen twine. Don't forget the liquid smoke if you're not using a smoker.  It's best to do two lengthwise, and then two around the width. Place in the smoker, and add your cherry wood and hickory wood (Only a little bit of hickory so as not to overpower the other flavors). Add smoke each hour for 3 hours, and then allow to continue cooking on it's own. Check after 8-9 hours. Pork should be falling off the bone, and easy to shred. Collect the juices that should have dripped off the pork, and save for the cabbage. If you are cooking the pork in the oven, check it after 5 hours. If in the slow-cooker, it's gonna take about 17 on the low setting.

Shred cabbage, and combine with pork. Add to a pan with 4 cups of chicken broth and juices from the smoker. Bring to a boil, and then reduce heat. Steam the cabbage for a few minutes until cabbage is "al dente." Serve over sticky rice.

KALBI RIBS
Ingredients:
2 lbs. Beef Short Ribs
6 Cups Soy Sauce
1/2 Lb. Brown Sugar
8 Cloves Garlic, Chopped
2 Green Onions, chopped
1 Tbl. Ginger Powder
1 Tbl. Sesame Oil
1/4 Cup Red wine (optional)
Toasted Sesame Seeds (optional)

Directions: 
Marinate your short ribs overnight in all the ingredients, except for the sesame seeds. Keep in the refrigerator, and remove about 30 minutes prior to grilling. Heat the grill to high, and add the ribs. Cook for 2 minutes with the grill down, and then flip. Cook for 1 minute longer, and then transfer to a plate and serve, sprinkled with sesame seeds if you like!

POTATO MAC SALAD
Ingredients:
3 Medium, or 5 large Potatoes, skinned and chopped into 2" pieces
1 Lb. Elbow Noodles
1 Cup Real Mayonnaise
2 Tbl. Grated Yellow Onion
2 Tsp. Garlic Powder
Salt & Pepper To Taste

Directions: 
Boil the potatoes in salted water for 10 minutes. Drain and allow to cool. Cook the elbow noodles according to the package directions and rinse with cold water. Combine in a big bowl, and add the remaining ingredients. Mix well, and check for taste. Refrigerate until ready to use.

Pulled Pork Mac & Cheese - Just Go Slap Your Mom Right Now!

Okay, don't actually do that. No food is worth abusing your mother. And you know, the Biblical implications are quite negative in regards to not honoring your mother.

I'm headed down south soon, and I'm excited to experience the artery-clogging, Paula Deen glorifying, acne causing culinary delights that are southern food. But I had to get a little bit of a head start. Macaroni and Cheese, by itself, has always been one of those evasive foods for me. I grew up with Mac and Cheese that was basically that. Macaroni. Cheese. It was heavenly. My mother would mix the two together, and rarely have I found anything that could come close to my childhood experience. This recipe just elevates that a bit with the thick, creamy, béchamel sauce, and a melting pot of cheeses (no pun intended).

I first experienced Pulled Pork Mac and Cheese a few months ago, and I have to say, I was quite disappointed. Ever since, I've wanted to give it a go, because I knew that it had amazing potential, and so I finally got around to it. It's an experience I'll never forget, and certainly worth sharing with you!

It's a process that takes time, but time well spent. If you have a smoker, that's the way to go! If not, then you can work around it. In the end, you're going to have a fantastic meal either way. With all of that said - here ya go:

PULLED PORK MAC & CHEESE
Serves 7-8

For The Pulled Pork: 
Shawn’s Rib Ticklin' Rub
     - 1 Cup Brown Sugar
     - 3 Tbl. Smoked Salt (or regular...)
     - 1 Tbl. Black Pepper
     - 3 Tbl. Paprika
     - 2 Tbl. Garlic Powder
     - 1 Tbl. Chili Powder
     - 1 Tbl. Ground Cumin
     - 1 Tsp. Ground Coriander
     - 1 Tsp. Mustard Powder
        (Mix together to combine)
7 Lb. Bone In Pork Butt 
Hickory Chips if you’re using a smoker

Rub the pork and let it sit overnight. Pull it out of fridge 1 hour before ready to smoke. Heat the smoker to 225. Baste the pork with some of the mop, and then do so every hour. Smoke the pork, and refill the wood chips every hour for the first three hours. Every hour, baste the pork with the mop, for a total of 12 hours. Just to be safe, make sure the internal temp is at least 170. Remove, and shred the pork, and mix with the bbq sauce. 

IF YOU DON’T HAVE A SMOKER: First of all, I’m sorry. Go get one. You really should. But if you don’t, just preheat your oven to 300 degrees. Roast the pork, basting every hour, for about 6 hours. Again, you want the internal temp to be about 170. And if you want that beautiful smoke flavor, add a little liquid smoke to your mop. 

For The Mop:
1 Cup Apple Cider Vinegar
1/4 Cup Stone Ground Mustard
2 Tbl. Lemon Juice
1 Tsp. Worcestershire Sauce

Mix above ingredients to combine. 

For The Barbecue Sauce:
1 1/2 Cups Ketchup
1/4 cup Dark Rum
1/4 cup Strong coffee
3/4 cup Brown Sugar
1/4 cup Bourbon
1 cup Apple Cider Vinegar
1 Tbl. Sriracha
1/2 Tbl. Liquid Smoke
1 Tbl. Worcestershire

Combine ingredients, and bring to simmer over medium heat. When it starts to boil, reduce to low and let simmer for about an hour.

For The Mac And Cheese:
1 Lb. Elbow Macaroni
1 Qt. Milk
6 Tbl. Butter
1/2 Cup Flour
2 Cups Swiss Cheese (or 2-8oz. packages, ripped up)
2 Cups Colby-Jack Cheese, grated
2 Cups Mexican Cheese, grated
Salt & Pepper To Taste
1/2 Tsp. Nutmeg
1 Container French Fried Onion Rings

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. Cook the macaroni, and drain. Rinse with cold water, cause you won’t be using it right away. 

In a small saucepan, heat the milk, but don’t allow to boil. You just want it warm for when you combine it with the butter and flour roux you’re about to make. 

In a large pot, melt the butter over medium heat. Reduce to medium-low and add your flour. Stir well with a whisk for about 2 minutes. Hopefully your milk is hot by this point, so go ahead and pour it in and whisk well, continuing to whisk until the mixture is a nice, thick, smooth béchamel. Take the pot off the heat, and mix in your cheese, salt, pepper and nutmeg. It’s gonna be a stringy, melty, gooey mess that you’re going to want to dive into and drown in (but don’t, that’s unsanitary). 
It’s okay if it’s a little clumpy, cause we’ll fix that in a minute. Mix in your noodles, and then pour into a baking dish, AT LEAST 9x18. Bigger is better, but this will work. 

Once you’ve got it in the dish, cover it with the french fried onion rings. Use the whole container, trust me. And if you want to double that, that’s not bad either. Then take your pulled pork that you’ve mixed with the bbq sauce, and place as little or as much on top as you would like. You’ll have a lot of pulled pork, so don’t feel bad going easy, cause you and your guests can always put more on according to your tastes (and they WILL want to put more on!) No sense in making your dish overflow. 

Place in oven, uncovered, and bake for 35 minutes. Remove and serve! 

And seriously, no matter how much you want to: DO NOT SLAP YOUR MOTHER!!!!

Because Eating Good Is A Calling Of It's Own!